EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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