I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
