shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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