perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
