TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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