It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
