if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
