There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
