I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
