I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize