I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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