Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm too high and old for this...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
