Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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