Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
