Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
