So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
