Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
