I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
