i'm signing you up for texting rehab
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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