I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Found your dick twin last night
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
