just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize