used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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