i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
