why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
