i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
