8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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