You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
