thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
