wakey wakey hands off snakey
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
