Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just want nice things and good sex
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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