Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
