Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
