He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
