These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize