Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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