So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think your dad took our porno
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
