I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize