It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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