We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
