All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
