he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
my being single is dangerous.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Randomize
