Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
