im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
