I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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