walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
