We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
