like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
