How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
