If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Randomize
