my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Randomize
