And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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