There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
