Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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