dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
