I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
