i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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