dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
