she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Dignity is for republicans.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
